Tag: Online Therapy

What are the benefits of online counselling

siobhantoner

Are you thinking about having therapy online but are not sure about if its right for you and don’t understand how it works?

Below are some of the benefits which may apply to you but firstly:

how does it work?

You will need to make some choices on how you want to engage with your therapist. It can be a video call where you see each other or an audio call. Alternatively you can go text-based like having a conversation on a chat application which will still be in real time.

The benefits

Making this choice is one of the first benefits, you can choose what makes you more comfortable. Some people are distracted by video calls and very self-conscious so prefer an audio call. Others have slower connection speed which means they prefer audio or messages. Others prefer message based because they find it very hard to talk about their issues and this makes it easier for them. I have clients who have chosen different ones for these reasons.

You may be one of the many people ok with meeting their counsellor face to face in their office, but you may also be one of those who finds it very hard and it may be stopping you accessing counselling in the first place. Working online means you are able to choose where you are, usually at home, so it can be a lot more comfortable. Being in a more comfortable place can make it easier for you to talk about what is worrying you.

You may be one of the clients who need one of the biggest benefits, convenience. Not having to travel to and from the counsellor’s office can save a lot of time. You may not live or work very close to a counsellor or be in a small community where seeing a local counsellor wouldn’t feel comfortable.

As well as the travel convenience, scheduling a regular weekly slot can be hard for some people due to other commitments. Therefore, for people working shifts, evenings and different patterns each week or have to be in different location this might be the only way you can get to see a counsellor.

Next steps

As a way of working, it’s still relatively new to a lot of people but try it. You might find it is the best way for you. Get in touch and we can schedule a trial session.

Suicide

siobhantoner

If you have ever felt suicidal yourself, been impacted by someone else’s suicidal ideation or just want to understand more about suicide then I recommend this podcast.

What is clear from the work they are doing is that suicide can be preventable if help is asked for. Obviously not everyone will have a health service that is following this model yet, but I hope the work they are doing is adopted by others.

Please contact the https://www.samaritans.org or your local healthcare services if you are immediate need of support.

 

White privilege

siobhantoner

I’ve written before about privilege and how important it is to recognise what privilege each of us have. How often do we really listen to those who don’t have the same privilege? As a white woman I have privilege that woman of colour don’t. I have never had to change my name or loose my language to fit into a society that is dominated by white ideals. 

This article moved me a great deal as it is very clear how far we have to go.

Bereaved parents of adult children

siobhantoner

Do you know how to support bereaved parents of adult children?

Its a type of bereavement that doesn’t get as much written about it as when the deceased are children or babies yet the parents have still lost their child, whatever age they are.

For the surviving parent or parents, like with any bereavement time changes the way grief presents but it doesn’t go away. Whether it is six months, a year or ten years on their lives have changed irrevocably.

One of the most painful things can be how wiped out of history their child is; this can happen when people around them find it too difficult to talk about the dead person. So what happens is they avoid the subject and the parents are left alone with their grief.

It can also happen when people around them are making assumptions about the level of their grief; just because the parent is functioning and getting on with their life it doesn’t mean they are not still in pain. Mothers Day, the child birthday, the parents birthday, Christmas or other significant dates will be particularly difficult.

The parents may also have taken on a new role as primary caregiver to their grandchildren and be dealing with the many challenges this can bring.

Sometimes the simplest things can be really effective, a handwritten note saying you are thinking of them, showing them a photo you have found of their child, acknowledging their loss, asking how they are and being prepared to listen if they want to talk or to accept if they don’t.

The guideline is the same as when the bereavement first happens, even if some time has past never assume, just be there.

 

Attachment

siobhantoner

This is a great video explaining attachment theory and the sort of issues that can come from childhood.

Its useful for adults, both as parents but also as part of our own self reflection. If we can understand our own attachment styles and why they were formed it can help us explore the issues we have in the present.

Domestic Violence

siobhantoner

Unfortunately a few acts of extremist violence have taken place recently. I have been thinking about the response to those events in the general public. The sort of comments I read on social media and how whole communities are being tarred by the behaviour of the few.

However I can’t help but also think about the other acts of violence that occur on a daily basis and don’t get attention. Where is the outrage for those victims?

I am talking about domestic violence, perpetrated most often (but not exclusively) by men.

How many people share posts on Facebook condemning this and calling for their community to do more to stop it?

The data

According to this article during the 6 years to the end of 2016, in only England and Wales, more than 900 women were murdered. That is 150 victim per yearin these two countries alone. How high is the number across the world?

On this website I found these truly horrific estimates for that

An analysis of a United Nations global crime study has revealed that an estimated 43,600 women are killed every year by an intimate partner or family member. This is the equivalent to five women every hour or one woman every 12 minutes.

And this is just the estimated death toll. What about those that aren’t killed. How many are being physically and emotionally abused on a daily basis? How many children are witness to it and also being traumatised.

Compared these numbers with those killed in terrorist incidents in the UK and in Europe in this article.

Over the last 10 years there have been 1.4 deaths per year in the UK due to terrorism

Yet there have been 150 women per year killed in England and Wales alone by current or former partners.

How do you feel about these figures? Are you shocked, or all too familiar through personal experience of how widespread domestic violence is? Please get in touch if you need support for your own situation.