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By: Siobhan Toner | June 18, 2018

I've been thinking a lot about emotional abuse lately and its impact, not just on the victim but the abuser. 


Once the victim of emotional abuse recognises what is happening they often cut off all contact. When this is within families, parent and child or sibling, the abuser may still be left with expectations that are now not being met by the other person.


How often does the abuser recognise that it was their actions that led to the estrangement? In my experience, very rarely. Without that acknowledgement, the situation isn't going to change. Instead the abuser may fall into a pattern of recrimination and self-pity and end up feeling as though they are the person who is being mistreated and believe that their victim is the one in the wr...

By: Siobhan Toner | May 14, 2018

I listened to a podcast recently and someone being interviewed said something along the lines of 

"If you are a positive person, positive things happen to you" which leaves the inference that if you are a negative person then negative things will happen to you. 


My initial response was one of fury. How dare this bleep bleep bleep person blame all the people who have had terrible experiences for bringing them on themselves due to the wrong mindset. 


I work with children and adult survivors whose lives have been incredibly difficult. How on earth could this self-satisfied smug bleeping person think they just needed to be more positive and then things would be ok?

 

So, I admit, I stewed on this on and o...

By: Siobhan Toner | February 16, 2018

There are many different types of bereavement, the losses that we feel grief over are more than just when people we care about die.


Sometimes people leave us. This can be family, for example when a parent or sibling leaves the family home we can be left feeling abandoned. Our friendship groups may break apart, this is very noticeable in school but it can happen at any age. We may separate with romantic partners and feel a great lose due to that.


Other types of loses can also be incredibly hard to cope with. The loss of a home - this can be due to poverty, breakdown of relationships or a secondary bereavement when a loved one dies.


The loss of innocence can be very traumatic if it comes through abuse. This can also link to being a victim of ...

By: Siobhan Toner | January 13, 2018

Its very easy to reach my offices from any of the following areas on public transport. Borough Tube station on the northern line is a few minutes away as is London Bridge overground. There is also a bus stop just outside the building from which most areas in Southwark are accessible and beyond into Lambeth, Lewisham and Greenwich.


Please note this isn't a full list just a sample.


Balham, Bermondsey, Beckenham, Blackfriars, Bromley, Canary Wharf, Camberwell, Catford, Clapham, Clock House, Charlton, Colliers Wood Croydon, Crystal Palace, Deptford, Downham, Dulwich, East Dulwich, East Finchley, Eden Park, Elephant and Castle, Elmers End, Eltham, Forest Hill, Greenwich, Hayes, Herne Hill, Hither Green, Kennington, Keston, Lewisham, Lady...

By: Siobhan Toner | December 16, 2017

I believe that everyone can benefit from having counselling once they find the counsellor that suits them.


How do you know if I am the right one for you? It may help to know a bit more about me. I come from a London Irish working class background and I was raised in Southwark. 


I am down to earth and open in the counselling space and my role is to help facilitate your exploration of the issues that have brought you there. I do this by listening to what you are saying but also what you may not be saying. By exploring this with you it can lead to greater understanding of what you are experiencing.


I don’t just listen, I work to understand what it would be like to experience what you are telling me in a non judgemental way and I will chec...

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