What are your shoulds?

I came across a talk today I really enjoyed.

Warning, before clicking the link please be aware it is quite sweary. Link to talk.

The message I really took away from it is one I see again and again in my work – how much we do because we feel we should.

Should’s – they create so much anxiety and guilt. We do things we don’t want to because of them, feel guilty if we don’t do them, or even feel guilty if we do them and don’t enjoy it (despite knowing we wouldn’t enjoy them in the first place).

Why is it so hard to refuse? What does saying no mean to us? For each of us there is probably a different story, but I would assume a lot of them are rooted in childhood.

What judgement was put on you when you refused? What value on you as a person if you didn’t want to do something?

What impact does the thought of refusing something have for you now? How cluttered is your life because of it? How anxious?